


the letter that changed it all

by cromulentsoul



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Decisions, Break Up, Captain Akaashi, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, French Kissing, Friends to Lovers, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Individual Growth, Letters, Locker Room, Love Letters, M/M, Mature Bokuto, Maturing, Men Crying, Multiple Pairings, Oneshot, POV Multiple, Self-Hatred, Sex Jokes, Sloppy Makeouts, Teasing, Unhealthy Relationships, Volleyball, Volleyball Dorks in Love, implied kuroken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-04 22:31:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15157037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cromulentsoul/pseuds/cromulentsoul
Summary: “Set to me.”The younger turned to face him, “Excuse me?”“Set to me, one last time, Akaashi, please. I don’t care if you set to that guy for the rest of the match.. Just.. Send me one toss.”





	the letter that changed it all

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a short fic. 
> 
> Guess what this isn't?
> 
> A short fic.

May 21, 2016  
_“I don’t want to leave you,”_

_“You are, though. This isn’t a good idea, you and I staying together.”_

_“Keiji-”_

_“You’re going off to University, you’re going to meet so many new people. This is a new chapter of your life, Koutarou, why are you going to want to come back here? There are so many more people that can, and will love you.”_

_“I don’t care about any of them and their stupid ‘love’, I love you, Keiji, nothing on this goddamn earth is going to change that. Nothing.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“Keiji please don’t go, we can make this work, I’m only going to be a few hours away.”_

_“A few hours? Koutarou, you’re going halfway across the country. You have a volleyball scholarship, you’re going to be so filled with new things that you won’t even--”_

_“Won’t even what? Remember you? You know that’s anything but true. I could never, I would never, you should know me better than that.”_

_“We’re done, Koutarou, please just get that through your head.. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”_

_“You don’t mean that--”_

_“I do! I do! Why can’t you just listen to me for once instead of putting your own personal narrative over me?! I’m breaking up with you. We’re done. No longer together. Nothing you say is going to change my mind, Koutarou.”_

_“Fine, Keiji. I get it. I just thought that you and me had something different, to think that I actually spent the time trying to invest in us when all you were planning on doing was pushing me away in the end.”_

 

September 19, 2016  
“Akaashi-san!” Onaga rushed over to the other, “We have a little bit of a situation.” 

“Mh?” The older male raised an eyebrow, lifting himself from the floor of the gym. “What kind of situation? Please don’t tell me one of the first years--”

“No-no, no they didn’t do anything it’s just there’s someone here who is talking to said first years.”

“Please don’t tell me-”

“He came all the way from his Uni to welcome all of the new first years.. He nearly-”

“I’d really rather not know what he did. Can you gather them inside the gym while I go speak to him?” Akaashi slowly rubbed his hands over his eyes, trying to keep himself from groaning out loud. He should have known better, he should have known that this would in fact happen at _some_ point. 

As the first years were ushered in by Onaga in an overly rushed fashion, Akaashi made his way across the gym towards the doors they’d just entered from. He turned to face them. “Start stretching and we’ll begin in a few minutes, if you’ll excuse me for a moment.”

“Yes, captain!” The group of boys exclaimed, Onaga giving a careful nod to Akaashi in a silent way of telling him he’d handle them for the meantime.

Akaashi gave another little nod before slipping out of the gym. He closed the door behind him, standing on the top step of the entrance. His eyes fell downward to catch the puff of grey hair eagerly trying to make conversation with Kaori as she tried to walk in the gym. His voice seemed to pull his attention away. 

“Bokuto, why are you here?”

“Oh! Kei- Akaashi! Well, I figured because I didn’t have any classes for a couple days because of a tournament in town that I’d come by and visit.. You know?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Come on-- I just met a bunch of them and none of them really have that energy! You need someone like me to give them the spirit of volleyball.”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine without it, thank you though.” He replied quickly, opening the door for Kaori as she finally decided to make a run for it. “I really think you should go.”

“Akaashi, seriously? I just got here.” Bokuto’s eyes seemed to fill with slight concern, a bit of worry.

“Yes, seriously. I don’t think it’s a good idea for the first years to meet you.” 

“Just because we broke up--”

“I know that, Bokuto. We’re busy, now isn’t a good time to have you be a distraction to them. We’re building the team from scratch because almost the whole team graduated last year, so if you’ll excuse me, we have work to do.” He huffed, opening up the gym door once more to let himself in.

Bokuto raised his hand in attempts to stop the other; however, the door shut just as quickly as it opened, and Akaashi was now on the other side. A dull sigh slipped past his lips as his eyes came to stare at the closed door. He didn’t understand what had happened to them, they’d been such a good duo, a pair, a couple, and then it all went to hell. 

Akaashi had ignored nearly all of his calls for months. He’d spoken to Kuroo, though, which Bokuto found extremely rude. Akaashi had cut him out of his life just like that. The day they’d broken up was the day Akaashi started a new life, one that never contained the name Bokuto Koutarou. 

Of course, it had hurt. Bokuto hadn’t wanted to break up in the first place. He didn’t want to leave something so good. He’d been overwhelmed with joy when they’d first gotten together. He’d never wanted to let him go and as graduation rolled around, Akaashi had started to become less available, blaming it on tests and exams that he needed to do well on. Bokuto silently called bullshit.

They’d discussed it before, and Akaashi always hummed quietly, saying that it would be nice to stay together. Bokuto had been certain that that meant they would remain an item, until the day of the break up.

He’d practically been reduced to tears, and Akaashi seemed to be following in suit. He’d begged the boy to at least give him a chance, give them a chance. He tried to assure him that distance wasn’t that big of a deal, that he loved him so much that nothing would ever change the feelings he had. Akaashi’s words had stabbed him like a knife right into the gut. 

_“...I’m breaking up with you. We’re done. No longer together. Nothing you say is going to change my mind, Koutarou.”_

It took him a solid week to come out from his bedroom. Kuroo had sat at his door for a day and a half, begging him to come out. He offered pizza and video games, he offered throwing darts at a picture of Akaashi’s face, he’d even offered to go punch him. He’d tried his best, but Akaashi had been his world. He’d orbited Akaashi and suddenly he was gone which caused him to fly off into space with no safe place.

He’d never felt so empty. Akaashi Keiji had broken his heart.

College did what it could to heal him. Volleyball became his life, his whole purpose. On days he didn’t have classes, he spent the whole day in the gym working on spikes, working on running, anything. Though he’d improved dramatically, his moods hadn’t. His team had yet to find a way to pull him out of slumps like Akaashi had. Every time he nailed a spike he’d begin to say his name, only to find the pathetic excuse for him standing to his left (their setter was incredible, no doubt, but to Bokuto, there was a dislike because he wasn’t Akaashi, and he always set a little bit lower than he was supposed to.)

“I get it, my personal narrative has really gotten in the way of your’s, huh? Cut my name out of it?” He let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. He pulled out his phone, biting his lip as he dialed a number. “Hey, are you at home?”

 

\---

 

“Bo, it’s been four months,” Kuroo sighed slowly, falling back against his bed, his head fell over the edge causing the other boy to come across as upside down. His hair fell towards the floor, leaving his forehead oddly exposed. “It’s really time to move on.”

“It’s been three months, twenty nine days, or.. One hundred and twenty one days.”

“The fact that you know that tells me you have a serious issue.”

Bokuto groaned, his head falling into his hands. “Dude I just.. How the hell are you supposed to get over someone that you loved, that you still love? I loved him, Kuroo.” 

“How long did you guys date?”

“Uh.. Like seven months?” 

Kuroo shook his head, his eyes coming to close as he forced himself not to sigh again. “You guys only dated for seven months, less than a year and you’re claiming that you love him. I’m sorry, Bo, but really, why are you still in love with a guy who took your heart and shattered it with absolutely no remorse?”

“We don’t know if he did it with no remorse or not..” He murmured under his breath, shifting from his spot in the desk chair across the room to the other end of Kuroo’s bed. “What if he’s just being unemotional like he always is? It took me a month and a half to get him to openly smile around me.. He could just be masking things.”

“Kenma hasn’t told me anything like that,” he replied.

“Maybe Akaashi doesn’t talk to Kenma about that stuff! Or maybe he’s not telling you because he knows that you would tell me and then I would know what Akaashi’s feeling and that’s exactly what Akaashi would never want!” His voice raised defensively, getting quicker and quicker as he went on. “It sounds like the perfect scheme- plan.. Thing..”

The taller sat up slowly, leaning his back against the wall. “He hasn’t told me anything like that either.” 

“Why the hell would Akaashi tell you anything? What did you guys even talk about?!” He quipped. 

“Firstly, don’t shoot the messenger and your goddamn best friend over some ex-boyfriend, man that’s some betrayal if you’re choosing him over me and he broke your heart. He just asked some stuff about Kenma, wanted to know his summer plans.”

“Why couldn’t he ask Kenma himself?”

“The hell if I know, I don’t know his personal agenda.” He shrugged, looking over at the other male. He was quite surprised the other hadn’t started crying yet, which, was good. Maybe he was finally getting over him.

“He basically banished me from the gym today.” He muttered as he went to hold his knees close to his chest. “Told me that I wasn’t needed and that I’d be a distraction.”

“Bo, you kinda have to understand his perspective. He’s the captain now, he’s got to lead the team and seeing his ex-boyfriend there would probably be pretty difficult. Plus.. your team is basically all new people. Your team didn't have any first years last year.. Besides maybe one.. And then there was Akaashi. He’s making a team from nothing.”

“You’re siding with him?!”

“You _just_ sided with him a second ago!”

Bokuto groaned, his forehead falling against his knee. “This boy is wrecking me, Kuroo!”

“Why can’t you let him go? What makes him so special? It’s not like you gave your virginity to him or anything…” 

“...”

“...Bo you did not.”

The yellow eyed male waved his hands in the air, ”No! Not technically!” He spent the moment groaning as he fell back on the bed with a thud. “I lost it when I was drunk to a girl I didn’t even like.. He was just the first person I actually cared about, you know? Like.. Having sex with him was special, it wasn’t meaningless..” He paused, “Plus I took his so I guess that’s something.”

The other burst into laughter. “Wait, wait, you, Bokuto Koutarou managed to snatch Akaashi Keiji’s virginity?! Damn. Wowow,” he held his gut as he tried to take steady breaths. 

“What is so funny about that?!” He huffed, glaring at the other.

“No.. Nothing..It’s nothing.”

“That’s a lie, but okay.”

“I..It’s just I guess it’s not funny but Akaashi didn’t come across as a virgin.”

“What..? I was his first boyfriend, first anything.”

“You’ve seen the look in his eyes, I don’t know, I thought he’d be one of those people to sleep around a bunch. He’s like a silent version of Oikawa, you know?”

“No.. I don’t, Kuroo. You know, just because Akaashi and I are over and done with doesn’t mean I’m going to start shit talking him. Yes, the way he broke up with me was wrong and it really hurt me.. It still does hurt me, but I can’t disrespect his feelings. If he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me, then that’s his opinion and his thoughts and I can’t change those. I can, however, not shit talk him and stoop to a lower level.” Bokuto stood up and walked over to the other side of the room to collect his belongings. 

“Bo, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“You did, though. I gotta go anyway.. Trip to Uni isn’t exactly a short one.” With that, the male made his exit. 

Kuroo attempted to run after the other, but by the time he’d made it to the driveway, Bokuto was pulling out and he wasn’t exactly marathon material. He couldn’t chase after him and make him stop, not after what he’d said. 

Kuroo never understood love, the things it made people do. He’d tried telling Bokuto to just get over him, he’d tried to tell him to remain faithful that maybe life had a second plan for them but both methods ended in Bokuto being dissatisfied. He’d never get why love made people do things like they did. Bokuto had become so complicated.

 

\---

 

April 9, 2017  
“Well, you have to open it!” 

“Come on, captain!”

“The University of Tokyo would be absolutely mad if they didn’t accept you, Akaashi-san.”

The whole team seemed to hum in agreement as they stood around Akaashi, waiting for him to open the letter in his hands. The school had somehow got the letter instead of his house and they thought that giving it to him in the middle of volleyball practice would be the greatest idea, said everyone but Akaashi ever. 

“I believe this can wait until I get home,” he replied sheepishly, looking at the crowd of boys around him. Normally they didn’t look like this unless he was giving them a pep talk or maybe coach was. “Come on, we have to keep practicing if we actually want to get anywhere.”

“Well, we want to get you into university so, open the letter.” Onaga chimed, walked over to him. He wrapped his arm around Akaashi’s shoulder, snatching the letter with his free hand. “Now, I open the letter here and now or you do, I’ll let you take your pick.”

The elder huffed and snatched the letter back from the other. “I don’t see why you’re so invested in my further education.”

Akaashi Keiji had once been unnoticed by the volleyball community, by most people, even. Though, the year before he’d come into somewhat of a spotlight due to Bokuto. He became known as his setter, and then, as Bokuto went off to college the public still seemed to enjoy his presence. He had improved drastically and he’d had a couple of schools offer him a volleyball scholarship, though, he’d never expect that from the University of Tokyo. Oikawa Tooru got a scholarship there and they were no way equal in skill.

He slowly opened the envelope and quietly pulled the letter from it out. He opened it and let his eyes scan across the dozens of words on the page before showing any emotion to the boys that surrounded him. His eyes hit “Congratulations” “Academic Scholarship” and “Volleyball Tryouts” in the matter of five seconds. 

“I.. got in on an academic scholarship..” he finally spoke up, looking at them. For once, those green eyes seemed to shine. He seemed genuinely and outwardly happy as he broke into a smile. “God.. Wow.. I..” 

Before he could even complete his second sentence, the boy had swarmed him into a giant group hug, some probably crying, others cheering as they hugged. All of them had been so supportive without knowing him. He felt so humbled and cherished as he was embraced. 

“I wasn’t done yet..!” He laughed quietly, the boys backing off as he continued. Their eyes looked even more interested than before. “They want me to try out for their volleyball team. It’s not a scholarship, but they think that I would be a good fit for their team.” He blinked a few times, astonished at the fact that he had read it correctly. 

“Holy shit, you’re gonna be on the same team as Oikawa Tooru?!”

“Holy fuck! You two play the same position. Guys, we gotta train even harder so Akaashi-san can take his spot!”

“Yeah!” 

“I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon, Oikawa-san is a good guy, I’m sure he’d be happy to have me on his team and besides, he wouldn’t look at me as a threat anyway.”

“Don’t be so modest, Akaashi-san~” 

“I’m not being modest, I’m being realistic.” A gentle laugh slipped past his lips. “I’m pretty sure all of are a little too unfocused to work today. Here, take the day off. We’ll have morning practice here in the gym at six thirty. Come late and you’re running laps outside.” 

“You’re cruel, Akaashi.”

“I’m giving you the afternoon off, come on,” he smiled ever so slightly, “have a good day.”

“Thank you!” A few of the males replied, others already working to get their things together. 

He’d never admit it, but he really did enjoy being the captain of their team. He’d gained so many different skills. Yes, he was still pretty quiet and more of a watcher, but he’d become so strong. He’d become such a leader. He could lead quietly and have a silent army behind him, he didn’t have to stand in the center to help others succeed. Thankfully, the first years had taken to him well, they respected him and his time as captain. He was really pleased to see how far they’d come together. 

Eventually, Akaashi collected his belongings and started the walk home. The feeling still held a strange place with him, walking home alone. He’d walked home with Bokuto every single day after practice.Bokuto would walk him home and sometimes he’d join him upstairs. Akaashi knew Bokuto lived in the opposite direction, but Bokuto was determined each and every day to walk him home. 

When they had broken up, Akaashi didn’t think that many things would change, but something as simple as walking home had changed. He walked in silence, the over enthusiastic voice of Bokuto nowhere to be found. He’d gotten used to the feeling, but occasionally he was reminded which forced him to walk a little faster. The faster he got home the less he had to think about him.

 

\---

 

“Mom, I’m home.” Akaashi spoke softly as he entered his home. He fiddled with his key as he took off his shoes, closing the door once he got the key out. 

“Keiji, you’re back early!” She exclaimed, walking past the foyer. “Something happen at practice?”

“No, well, yes.” He replied, setting his bag down as he walked into the living room. “I actually got a letter, from the University of Tokyo.”

His mother followed him quickly, watching his movements carefully. Despite it being her son, she always had a hard time reading his thoughts. “And?”

Akaashi gave a soft sigh of relief, “I got in, on an academic scholarship. They also want me to try out for their volleyball team.” A smile broke across his face as he saw his mother’s reaction. Her face went from fear to absolute joy.

“That’s incredible! That’s.. So incredible. Keiji I’m so proud of you,” she pulled the other into a hug, kissing him on the cheek far too many times for the boy’s comfort. 

“Wouldn’t have been for your teachings, mom.” He grinned.

“Don’t flatter me.”

“I’m going to go write a letter back and accept their offer. We’re paying less than a fourth of my total costs with the scholarship. It’s really an offer that I can't resist.” His smile turned modest, unable to shake from his face nonetheless. 

He’d dreamed for so long to study in their Faculty of Letters. It was a ridiculous challenge getting himself prepared, but his work paid off seeing the acceptance letter in his hands. He was still so speechless, his mouth could barely form words and it was stuck in the position of a smile. 

The young male traveled to his room, slowly slipping off the light grey shirt he’d had on for practice. He changed into a nicer t-shirt before sitting himself down at his desk. 

Before the breakup, Akaashi’s desk had been covered in small notes and pictures of Bokuto. They’d taken a ridiculous amount of pictures in every situation. Bokuto said something about being able to remember every single moment they shared together, which Akaashi found to be a bit much but having a spread of polaroids around his desk was a pleasant sight at the time. 

He set his letter down, patting at his desk in attempts to find a pen under the massive stacks of papers and notebooks he had. Against most assumptions, Akaashi wasn’t as tidy as most thought. His room was perfect fine, he never left clothes on the floor, his bed was always made, but, his desk? Oh his desk was a nightmare when he was stressed. He had papers everywhere, four books open, pens of every single color spewed across the table. It was ridiculous.

“Ugh..” He groaned, lifting a few papers around, creating new stacks that most definitely did not need to be created. He pulled out his chair a bit to reach into the top drawer, knowing damn well there would at least be one pen in there, as well as an envelope to mail back with. He opened it slowly, rummaging around in it to find not one, but seven pens. Not only did he find seven pens, but he found two envelopes! What kind of luck did he have?

He set the envelopes down to the side and wrote back a letter of agreement on the little slip of paper they had included in his letter. In hindsight, he should have figured the extra slip of paper was a good sign, but, hey, he was more for reading words than assuming things.

Once he’d finished he’d reached for the envelope on top. As he did, a bit of contents seemed to slip out from the envelope on the bottom. “Hm?” He raised an eyebrow seeing the corner of paper come from the inside. He never left letters unmailed.

Akaashi sealed away his letter before picking up the other envelope, turning it around to the front to see “Keiji” scribbled onto the front of it. He blinked a few times, thinking about his birthday and if someone mailed him a letter that he’d neglected to read. He remained clueless until he’d finally removed the letter from its packaging and suddenly he was brought back to more than a year ago.

_“24 of February, 2016_

_Keiji,_

_I’m pretty sure that this is going to be a disaster, so I’m not really sure why I’m writing to you in the first place.. No matter the outcome of this letter, I’ll probably just give it to you anyway, because why not? If it’s not good, you’ll still think it’s dorky and cute that way, and if it actually is good, then it’ll be really romantic and charming, which is even better, right?!_

_Oh god._

_I don’t really know where to begin, if I’m being serious. Keiji.. You’ve just been such a glowing light in my life. I can’t put it into words how much you mean to me._

_It’s stupid, I know, we only started dating in October, but, after I first met you when you came in for tryouts as a first year, I knew you were different from everyone else. You had that look in your eyes, I’m not exactly sure if it was fear at first (which I get.. I know that I can be a little scary because of my energy and stuff), or excitement for something different but.. I just fell in love with it._

_I fell in love with the way you tossed to me, I fell in love with the way you still called me Bokuto-san after practically a whole year of friendship. I still laugh a little when you call me Bokuto-san, but I love when you call be Kou, it’s like music to my ears._

_I think it’s dumb to say that I’ve fallen in love so quickly, but I have, I really have. I fell in love with you the moment I set my eyes on you that day at tryouts. Getting to date you is such an honor, getting to hold you in my arms when you’re feeling sad, getting to kiss you.. Everytime we kiss I still my heart flutter, I still feel sparks on my lips that keep me wanting more. I’ll never forget that feeling._

_I know me saying I love you is scary, I know how many times you’ve told me that you’re afraid of love, that you aren’t made for it, that something is wrong with you because you can’t feel everything like I do, but, I don’t care. I know sometimes you feel like you’re broken but you aren’t, you aren’t at all.. But.. I’ll be the glue that holds all of those broken pieces together, if you want me to._

_I just, wanted to write this to tell you that.. I wanted you to know that I love you, and I always will. I hope the future holds great things for us, and I think it will! I’m excited to see what we can accomplish together. You make me a better person, you make me someone who wants to do good things, you make me so happy._

_I told you it would be cheesy, but.. It’s all true. Whenever I think about your smile, I swear that my heart rate goes up at least twenty beats per minute, and well, whenever you smile /at/ me?! That’s a whole other situation. God.. I just.. Wow._

_You’re stunning. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I love the smoothness of your skin, I love the soft freckles and moles that line your arms and back. I love your eyes, how rich they are. I love your lips and how soft they are. You always say you don’t use chapstick, but I think that’s untrue because they’re so soft. I love your legs, god, they’re perfect. You don’t know, do you?_

_I just love you a lot.. There’s no special date or anything for this.. It’s just me wanting to tell you, because no matter how many times I say it in my head, I can’t get my voice to work. I just.. Love you.._

_It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way!! I just hope that this doesn’t scare you or anything. You don’t have to feel the same way, at all, but if you liked me back ya know that would be pretty cool. I hope you at least like me back, like.. Like like me back. Ah.. Yeah._

_I think I’ve said enough.. For now. Maybe one day I can manage to say them out loud to you, but maybe you’ll keep this with you for a long time so you can always remember them. Please don’t forget them._

_Love,_  
Koutarou  
Or.. Bokuto-san because even after all this time you won’t call me anything but it in public” 

Akaashi didn’t remember himself crying, but the small dots of wetness left on the page contradicted his thoughts. He unfolded the last section of the paper to find a picture of the two of them fall out. It was yet another polaroid, Akaashi was certain that he’d gotten rid of them all. 

The picture was of the two of them, curled up in Bokuto’s bed. Akaashi was perched in Bokuto’s lap, both of them shirtless, but a blanket wrapped around Bokuto’s shoulders. His head rested in the crook of Bokuto’s neck, his eyes closed as if he was attempting to drift off to sleep. Bokuto was kissing the top of his head, his free arm wrapped around the younger, their hands connected. The photograph had a soft hue of yellow, more than likely from the sunset that was coming from the window that night. 

Akaashi hated that he remembered the exact moment that that photo was taken. 

He quickly set the photograph down and pushed himself out from his desk. He frantically wiped at his eyes to stop the flow of tears that just wouldn’t seem to stop. He paced around his room, coughing to try to rid the lump in his throat, he was trying everything to stop himself from feeling anything, from feeling everything. 

“This is not supposed to be happening..” He muttered to himself as he ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the end of the strands in attempts to wake himself up from the nightmare that he was in. “No goddamn way. I.. I got rid got everything. Every fucking thing that was from him.” His hands began to tremble, his eyes becoming more watery by the second. 

“I can’t- Do this-” He blinked rapidly, swallowing harshly as he tried to somehow take his mind off of things. Ah-- University! He’d just gotten into University. 

Bokuto was in University.

He was just offered a potential position on their volleyball team.

Bokuto played volleyball, in Uni.

His mother was probably cooking his favorite meal for dinner: boiled rapeseed plants with karashi mustard dressing

Bokuto had made that for him on their sixth month anniversary.

Akaashi bit his lip harshly as he tried to in any way change the subject. He just couldn’t. His mind turned to thinking about calling him, about telling him how much he missed him, about how much he wanted him here with him, laying in his bed, kissing. He’d longed for his touch for so long despite the fact that he was hours away at his school.

He’d thought he’d moved on. He really did.

He grabbed his phone. 

**To: Bokuto Koutarou:**  
I miss you so fucking much (draft)

He deleted each letter quickly, switching his message receiver.

 **To: Kenma Kozume:**  
We have an issue.

Kenma had stopped what he was doing, which frankly wasn’t much, and immediately traveled over to Akaashi’s house. His mother let him in no problem and the boy quickly rushed to the male’s room.

Akaashi’s tears hadn’t stopped. His eyes were bright red, as was his face. He looked so tired, his heart on his sleeve as he inhaled sharply. 

“Akaashi--”

“Just.. Read it.” His eyes closed as he handed over the letter to the other. He went and took a seat on his bed, hugging a pillow. “I’m fucked. I thought I had every single thing under control. I thought I’d forgotten about him. I thought--”

“Breathe, Akaashi.” 

“Breathe?! Kenma! How am I just supposed to shrug this off.. This is a really fucking.. Big deal.”

“Have you seen this before?” He asked after he finished scanning over the contents. He set the letter down on the desk, taking a quick glance at the picture that more than likely accompanied it.

Akaashi shook his head, sniffling again. “I remember getting it but I never opened it.. I mean.. I opened it but I must have gotten busy and shoved it away so my mom wouldn’t read it or something.. I just.. Oh my god Kenma. This..”

“Shouldn’t change anything. It’s not like he wrote it to you after the breakup.”

“That was the first time he ever told me he loved me. It’s a big fucking deal!” He wiped at his eyes again. “I feel like such an idiot.”

“Why? Because you didn’t read it when you should have? Akaashi,” Kenma sighed, “your decision to break up with Bokuto had reasoning behind it. It wasn’t like one day you didn’t care for him anymore. He was going off to college more than a few hours away, that’s a big change. Your concerns about him meeting new people and everything were and are valid. You shouldn’t feel bad.”

“I still loved him when we broke up and I just let him go. I underestimated how much he cared for me.”

The smaller male took a seat beside the other on his bed. Calling Kenma probably wasn’t the best idea considering he was as emotional as Akaashi was, and that was barely much. He couldn’t call Kuroo because he’d tell Bokuto and like hell Bokuto needed to know that Akaashi was in his room crying over him. At this point, it’d probably be an ego boost.

“You know he stopped by practice one day at the beginning of the year and I just pushed him away. I couldn’t stand to see him.. God.. I felt so bad afterwards. He looked so defeated.”

“Apparently Bokuto went to Kuroo’s that day. Bokuto left angry at Kuroo because he’d said something rude about you.”

“What?”

“Bokuto defended you against Kuroo. He didn’t tell me what about, though, probably because he thought I’d tell you.” He shrugged before realizing what had just left his mouth. Well, Kuroo had a point for once in his life.

“Remind me again of why you like him?”

“Please don’t remind me, Akaashi, I’m not sure why I like him either.” 

Akaashi let out a weak chuckle. “What am I supposed to do about this? I can’t tell him.. But.. I’m such a wreck.”

“What would happen if you told him?”

“We’d either get back together immediately or he’d laugh in my face and run off with his new university significant other.”

“The odds are fifty fifty, that seems pretty good to me.” He tilted his head to the side to try to catch a glimpse of Akaashi’s expression.

“No.. no.. Bokuto isn’t that easy. If we got back together it would be so awkward.. It would take so much work, it would be so hard.. He.. He forgives but he doesn’t forget. I just blew him off, I didn’t consider his feelings, I didn’t explain that I didn’t want to break up but that it was for the best-- I--”

“Why don’t you explain that to him?”

“Kenma, you’re mad.”

“Sorry.”

Akaashi shook his head, nearly scoffing at himself. “I’m such an idiot. I should have known it was his handwriting and thrown it away.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing you read it?”

“I don’t see why me sitting here crying is any benefit, really.”

“Well, maybe it’ll help you get over him?”

“Kenma, you’ve never been in a relationship before, that’s not really how this works. I get that reading anything from Kuroo makes you not want to see him for weeks, which, I totally agree sometimes, but Bokuto is not like that.”

“Oh.” He replied quietly, gently patting his arm. “I’m sorry. I don’t really know what to do, whenever I’m upset I just call Kuroo and he gets pie.”

“Even if I wanted to call Bokuto, he’s hours away.”

“Akaashi, you know that he would drive four hours to see you in a heartbeat.”

“Would he though?”

“Yes, I just said that.”

“ _Kenma._ ”

 

\---

 

The rest of the school year seemed to fly by. Even though Fukurodani didn’t make it that far in their final tournament, they were able to see the improvement of so many players which was far more important to Akaashi. He’d never imagined seeing so many people grow under him, it was a strange, yet sentimental feeling. 

“Akaashi!” Onaga rushed over to the other as he started leaving school. “Are you doing anything this summer?” He pulled at his bag, adjusting it over his shoulder as he matched the other’s step.

“Not really,” he shrugged, looking ahead of him as he continued to walk, “I was thinking about taking a couple of summer courses to get myself prepared.”

“That’s so boring…” He sucked in a breath, shaking his head. “That’s actually really lame, dude, you should enjoy the break, maybe go into Tokyo and go to some parties right?”

Akaashi nearly scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“Okay, maybe not party, but..”

“I get what you mean. I’m actually moving into an apartment with Oikawa Tooru near the University so I don’t have to pay their housing fees.” He looked at the other, raising an eyebrow as the other’s expression seemed to change. He was pretty good at reading faces, but, he was unsure of what Onaga was feeling.

Onaga’s jaw might have dropped to the floor if he hadn’t started to speak. “Wait, seriously? You’re moving in with Oikawa Tooru? Like, the Oikawa Tooru?”

“That’s what I just said, isn’t it? When he found out that UTokyo wanted me to try out for volleyball he reached out to be and offered me a spot in his apartment. Iwaizumi-san said that they needed another person or two to help out with rent costs and I figured it wasn’t that bad of an idea.”

“That’s insane, that’s like.. You’re in with the A-listers.”

“I really don’t think that’s the case, Oikawa and Iwaizumi just wanted to be helpful, if we’re becoming teammates, it just seems logical that they get to know me better. Who knows, I could be setting to Iwaizumi sometime.”

“I seriously think that you’re just brushing over how huge this is,” he muttered to himself, looking off to the side.

Akaashi pursed his lips in thought. Oikawa may have a malicious intent, but Iwaizumi would be there to keep him in line. He knew that no matter what, he’d be able to defend himself if need be. Oikawa Tooru was smart, but, Akaashi was as well. Plus, he didn’t think Oikawa was the type of person to hit him with a chair in his sleep or anything.

“I’m moving in in a month, I can’t just back out of the agreement.” He finally responded to the other, “If you’ll excuse me, though, I really need to get home so I can pack.”

 

\---

 

“And that’s it!” Oikawa smiled as his hands clapped together. He stood in the living room of his apartment, Akaashi in front of him. “It’s nice for a four bedroom apartment in the heart of Tokyo, huh?”

“Mh,” he nodded, walking away from the other to start dragging his stuff in. Oikawa seemed too keen on watching him move in rather than helping him. “So, did you ever find anyone for the last bedroom?”

“Nah, we didn’t want some weirdo moving in here with us, we could have invited a serial killer in and that would really put a damper on things.” He hummed, shifting his position to sit on one of Akaashi’s several boxes. Akaashi thanked whatever god there was silently that he was sitting on a box of pillows and not on anything important.

“Everyone else just said no,” Iwaizumi interrupted, flicking Oikawa’s neck. “Then again, Oikawa didn’t make living here sound very inviting to anyone besides you.” Oikawa groaned as Iwaizumi suddenly appeared, and not even to help him on his side. He was useless. 

“I just thought that Akaashi-kun wouldn’t want to be overwhelmed with another person. Iwa-chan, you’re pretty intimidating to the public eye.” He replied, sticking his tongue out at the other. 

Iwaizumi sent a glare in Oikawa’s direction, causing the boy to quickly shut his mouth. “Akaashi, do you need any help moving in?” 

“That’d be great, thank you.”

Moving in wasn’t that bad of a process. Iwaizumi helped him remove everything from his boxes while Oikawa sat on the unmade bed going on and on about who knew what. Akaashi could already tell that Iwaizumi somehow had the patience of a saint with the other male and his respect for him increased largely. 

Soon enough, Oikawa had gotten bored and went off to order takeout for the three of them, leaving the new and the elder alone.

“Sorry about him, but you’re just going to have to get used to him being well.. Him.”

“It’s not a problem, I’ve had my share of taking care of annoying upperclassmen,” he responded with a light hearted smile as the two of them fixed his sheets. “I don’t think it will be that hard to adjust to Oikawa.”

Iwaizumi cracked a small smile, nodding ever so slightly as he placed Akaashi’s pillows on his bed. “Are you excited for volleyball tryouts? I know you didn’t officially make a spot on the team, but,”

“Them wanting me to try out in the first place is a big deal. I’m excited. I think it will be a good opportunity for me, even if I don’t make the team. If anything, I could try to be a team manager so I could at least attend all of the games.” He fixed his blankets before taking a spot on the bed. 

Iwaizumi followed behind him, sitting on the corner of the bed. “If this can stay just between us, I think you have a really good shot. Oikawa, his body isn’t holding up well to the pressure. He’s probably going to have to get surgery on his knee and be in PT for awhile after.” The male ran a hand through his hair, did he look like he was tearing up? “Sorry. You can only talk sense into someone for so long, he’s gonna learn the hard way if he keeps at it.”

“I understand. Thank you for the help, Iwaizumi-san.”

“Just call me Iwaizumi.” He nodded, standing back up. He slowly walked over to the window, looking out. “I feel like I need to make this clear, before you get weirded out or..”

Akaashi raised an eyebrow, “You and Oikawa are a thing?”

Akaashi could have sworn he saw Iwaizumi’s cheeks go red. “I promise I’ll keep him in line. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable around us.”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem. Oikawa’s bedroom is on the other side of the apartment, as is yours. I think my half of the apartment will be pretty quiet unless..”

“It’ll be quiet.” He replied quickly, rather, he assured quickly.

The younger stood up and started placing objects on his desk, more than likely to try to distract himself from imagining Oikawa and Iwaizumi going at it. He really didn’t need that mental image, but he supposed that it was better to know beforehand than walk into it on accident. “Is there anything else I should know?”

“We wake up early for runs, you’re more than welcome to join us if that’s your thing, if you catch Oikawa up at two in the morning send him to bed, there’s a slight coffee addiction in this house, so if you see that it’s close to being out buy more, never eat Oikawa’s milk bread.” He bit his lip in thought, trying to think of anything else that may be of importance. 

“Gotcha, thank you, Iwaizumi.”

Soon enough the three of them fell into a normal routine. Akaashi decided that he should join them on runs, which actually turned out to be pretty fun. Oikawa always felt the need to be two steps in front of either of them so he ran in front while Iwaizumi and Akaashi ran beside each other. That all worked out until Oikawa realized how acquainted the two were getting. They chatted quietly as they ran about the weather or about possible clubs to join. Oikawa figured that the two of them being best buddies wouldn’t do so he forced Iwaizumi to run behind him while Akaashi ran next to him. Iwaizumi showed his dislike by stepping on the back of Oikawa’s shoes, which was a pretty good tactic if he did say so himself. 

Akaashi seemed to be the person who always restocked the coffee as well as get groceries, Oikawa didn’t mind doing the laundry, and Iwaizumi ended up doing most of the cleaning. It seemed to work out pretty well. All of them had their thing, but the others helped out with it without question. Oikawa went to the grocery store with Akaashi to get his organic stuff (Akaashi chose not to ask about it), Iwaizumi helped with laundry, and of course Akaashi helped with the cleaning. The trio had a dynamic that worked in all aspects.

When Iwaizumi and Oikawa fought, Akaashi was almost reminded of himself a Bokuto. They were such stupid fights that he ended up having to mediate. He spent his nights sitting with Oikawa on the living room couch, the older’s head in his lap as they watched volleyball. Oikawa would go on and on about how him and Iwaizumi never saw things the same way, but Akaashi always insisted they did, just at different angles. If Oikawa saw the front of a picture, Iwaizumi saw the back of it. 

Sometimes Iwaizumi would come into Akaashi’s room and ask for advice. The younger always insisted that he really wasn't that much help in that department, but he was always proven wrong. Whatever advice Akaashi gave always caused Iwaizumi and Oikawa to make up. He found it sweet, how in love they were. It was like a summer romance, but that summer had gone on for two years and it was still going strong. 

As the school season started to roll around, their dinner conversations turned more into what classes they were taking versus what their saturday was going to be composed of. Akaashi learned that Oikawa was studying nutrition and sports science, while Iwaizumi was planning on being a physical therapist. He found it sweet, that Iwaizumi was basically deciding his major based off of Oikawa. 

Then again, it was also insanely stupid if they ever broke up.

Love was a strange thing, Akaashi was ever really sure that he’d get the hang of it. Living with Oikawa and Iwaizumi had shown him a lot, but, he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to do it himself. After what had happened with Bo, he felt like he wasn’t made for relationships because he’d just hurt someone in the end. He’d hurt himself and Bokuto more than he ever imagined, and he wasn’t ready to open himself up to being hurt again.

 

\---

 

“Hello everyone, I’m the head coach for UToyko’s boys volleyball team. It’s a pleasure to have all of you here ready to try out today. If you’re here, that means we see potential in you and we think you’d make a good spot on our team.” He acknowledged the group of boys standing behind him, Oikawa and Iwaizumi finding themselves there. “Not everyone will make it on the team, that’s a given; however, we want to see you do your best. We need players who are dynamic and are able to adapt and overcome. Disrespect to me or my players will not be tolerated.” He clapped his hands together, a smile breaking across his face. “Alright boys, start stretching, we’ll begin in a few minutes to see what you’re made of.”

If Akaashi wasn’t sweating already, he was now. God, he’d never really tried out for a team. Fukurodani needed players and took him in with no hesitations. Here, things were different. Here, things were serious. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi made their way from the group of players over to Akaashi who had seated himself on the floor to stretch. “So, are you nervous?” Oikawa grinned, looking down at the boy. Iwaizumi promptly shoving the other as if to say “Not cool.”

“A little, I think I should just try my best. Volleyball was never something I was interested in pursuing further after high school.” He replied, leaning forward to touch his toes. “As long as I’m focused, things should be fine.” 

“Calm natured as always, Akaashi-kun~ I have faith in you to become my sidekick setter!” He exclaimed before jogging off to talk to the head coach. Maybe, if he slipped a few good words in he’d look at Akaashi as a person and not a piece of meat. 

Iwaizumi leaned down, sighing softly. “He’s just being annoying, you’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Thank you, Iwaizumi.” He smiled reassuringly, nodding as the other stood up and walked over to Oikawa. Two good notes to the head coach wouldn’t be that bad, right? 

As soon as the coach called everyone up and around, they made teams. Akaashi was placed on the left side of the gym, along with several other players who all seemed to beat him in height. He knew that height was important, but, he had a brain at least. Given a good ace, he could assure their team that they would get points every single time. 

Given that none of these boys had ever placed together, their dynamics were rough. Most of them had a hard time adjusting to working with new players. Akaashi, however, overcame and adapted. The ace on his side preferred to hit from a higher angle than he was used to, but that was an easy enough fix. Their team racked up points after points. It seemed like a pretty successful future team until…

“Hey hey hey!” A loud voice erupted through the gym, echoing at every corner. 

Akaashi’s eyes widened as the voice came from behind him, his hands shifted downward at just about the worst timing he could imagine. A ball came in his direction to be set and it was too late to bring his hands up. The ball collided with Akaashi’s face, causing the male to stumble backwards. He held his nose, his eyes squeezing closed in pain.

“Let’s take a break!” Coach yelled, a couple of the boy’s on Akaashi’s side leading him over to Coach as well as Iwaizumi and Oikawa. 

“Akaashi~!” Oikawa yelped, practically throwing himself over to the younger boy. Akaashi wanted to groan, Oikawa wasn’t his mother. 

“I’m fine.. Oikawa.. That just startled me.” He muttered under his breath, removing his hand from his face to reveal a bright red patch. 

“You could have broken your nose, I’m surprised you didn’t blackout.”

“Even if you had been prepared to set, the toss was way too low. It never would have been good enough to properly work with.” The coach muttered under his breath, patting Akaashi on the shoulder. “What’s your name again?”

“Akaashi Keiji, sir.” He replied, gratefully taking the bag of ice Iwaizumi handed to him. 

“You’ve played really well, I’m surprised you managed to receive half of the tosses thrown to you, not to mention how well you’ve been dealing with that ace of yours.” 

“Thank you, sir. That’s very kind of you to s--”

“Coach!!” The familiar voice exclaimed, getting louder and louder until it was right in front of him. “Hey! Sorry I’m late. This is my first day on campus and it’s really different from my old uni’s. I’m Bokuto Koutarou, I believe our coaches have been in contact about me transfering to play for you guys.” The male smiled brightly, extending his hand to the older male who did in return shake his hand.

At that moment, Akaashi Keiji felt his soul leave his body. He felt every ounce of happiness he just had for volleyball disappear, fade into nothingness without any chance of coming back. He took a few steps backwards, bumping into Iwaizumi. “I need to go.”

“Why?” Iwaizumi’s eyebrows furrowed, giving him a concerned look. “What’s wrong? Did the hit really hurt?” 

“I--” He seemed to be at a loss for words, unable to form coherent sentences. 

Thankfully Oikawa came to his rescue. “Coach, I’m going to take Akaashi to the infirmary to make sure everything is okay. He looks like he’s starting to bruise.” Coach nodded and soon enough, Oikawa’s arm was tightly wrapped around Akaashi’s shoulder, walking him out from the gym.

“Did-- did you know that he was going to be here?!” The smaller’s eyes widened, holding his face again as the pain really began to set in. “Why the hell is he there? It’s supposed to be five hours away at a completely different school.”

“Uh..” Oikawa laughed sheepishly, continuing to drag the boy along. “Well, kind of.. I knew he was coming just not on the day of tryouts.”

“Oikawa, I can’t go back there, I can’t. Playing volleyball is one thing, but playing volleyball with _him_ is different.” He put his foot down, stopping in his tracks. “I can’t--”

Oikawa sighed softly, stopping with the other. “Akaashi, coach loved you. He complimented you even after you did something completely wrong-- Sorry.” He blinked a couple times at the large glare he’d received. “Not the point. Coach adored you, he adores you, you can’t just tell him you don’t want to play anymore, he would never take that as an answer.”

“He’s going to have to, Oikawa. I’m not going to play.” 

“Akaashi.”

“Oikawa-- I know that I’ve been pretty neutral about Bokuto to you but our breakup was not good. It was not in any way healthy and reopening those wounds is only going to make things worse. I can’t.”

“Sometimes the only way to make a wound better is if you reopen it and clean it, Akaashi. You’re letting it rot which isn’t doing it any better. Now come on, I said I was taking you to the infirmary and that wasn’t a lie.”

“I’m fine, Oikawa.”

“You’re very clearly not fine, now, I don’t know whether that’s due to the volleyball that just hit you in the face or because love can fucking suck. You’re bruising, though.” Oikawa sighed, shaking his head. “Please? You probably don’t wanna go back to the gym right now anyway.”

 

\---

 

It seemed like Akaashi really hadn’t missed much after he had left. The nurse told him he was fine and he’d just need to avoid volleyballs to the face for the time being, Akaashi didn’t enjoy the lighthearted sarcasm in his voice. 

Coach had apparently made cuts and sent about half of the boys away, leaving only the actual team, the remainder of boys and Bokuto Koutarou in the gym. Most of the team seemed to be chatting amongst themselves, some of them even going and talking to the possible new teammates, Bokuto, though, was having such a joyous time with their coach.

God damn it. Akaashi wanted to jump off of the roof. 

Oikawa walked with the younger over to the coach, and Bokuto for that matter, to assure him that Akaashi was alright. Coach seemed pleased, smiling ever so slightly at the male which caused his stomach to turn strangely. He didn’t enjoy the attention the failed pass brought to him, especially because it was due to Bokuto in the first place.

“You haven’t missed much, I’ve been giving the boys a break before going into the second round of eliminations, I suppose. Think you’re up for another match?” He asked, a curious grin falling across his face. Akaashi knew if he said no he’d immediately be cut from the team, and if he didn’t recover well he’d be cut from the team as well. He was in a conundrum wasn’t he?

“Of course, thank you for not starting without me, I appreciate it.” He nodded, slipping himself out of Oikawa’s hold. “Thank you, Oikawa, for helping me.”

As the coach clapped his hands, the remaining fresh meat made their way back on the court. “Alright, show me what you’re made of.” He paused, looking around. “Bokuto, was it?”

“Yes sir!” 

“Hop on in and show me what you got, I’ve seen your ranks but I’d love to see you perform in person.” Was that a challenge? “Left side of the court.”

The male quietly jogged himself over to his spot, shaking out his arms and his legs to get himself in somewhat of a zone. He turned, staring directly at Akaashi’s back.

“Set to me.”

The younger turned to face him, “Excuse me?”

“Set to me, one last time, Akaashi, please. I don’t care if you set to that guy for the rest of the match.. Just.. Send me one toss.”

Akaashi felt a lump appear in his throat as he swallowed, turning back to face the net without answering him. Coach blew the whistle, the other team served, and from then on he was focused. 

Playing volleyball wasn’t easy by any means. Akaashi had to be able to calculate situations, make decisions, and execute them in the matter of half a second. He wasn’t always the brain like Kenma, but he did enjoy a good dump every once in a while. He wasn’t a natural born leader like Daichi, he wasn’t as powerful as Oikawa, but he had skill and he had the ability to adapt and overcome.

.1 seconds  
If he set to Bokuto, there’d be absolutely no doubt that they’d score the point. Bokuto would jump for joy and probably tackle him, opening up the possibility for another injury that coach probably didn’t want to see. He’d see him as a liability case.

.2 seconds  
If he set to Bokuto, that means that he would open up the door to talking to Bokuto again. Bokuto was attending UTokyo and would be on their volleyball team no doubt. Even though he was in the same round of tryouts with him, Bokuto was and probably still was in the top five for an ace in their division. He’d have to talk to Bokuto every single day, go to practice with him, probably go to dinner with him after games with Oikawa and Iwaizumi. 

.3 seconds  
If he set to Bokuto that means that they would have a shot at being together again, they would have the ability to push past their differences, have better communication and become stronger together. Akaashi would be able to tell him about the letter he’d read months ago from the other and tell him how it reduced him to tears, how he was so close to calling him to beg for forgiveness and promise to do better.

.4 seconds  
If he _didn’t_ set to Bokuto, Bokuto would probably never be able to look him in the eyes again. Not only would have let him down when the broke up in the first place, but he’d be letting him down as he tried to pursue his dream. Bokuto may not make the volleyball team due to the fact that he’d have a massive outburst and probably go off the court sulking and never return. He’d quite possibly ruin every single think Bokuto Koutarou had ever dreamed of in terms of his future with his job and with his relationship. He could cause Bokuto to get angry, which was unlikely but still a possibility. He could ruin everything.

.5 seconds  
Set to Bokuto.

“Bokuto-san!” The male yelled, angling his hands at just the right position to send the ball directly to his hands. Bokuto reacted, slamming the ball into the other side of the court, practically causing smoke to follow after it due to the speed. 

The next few moments were a blur. Akaashi didn’t remember much besides his body suddenly becoming warm and stuck in place and everything was in very, very slow motion.

Bokuto had lifted the other off of his feet, holding him tightly in a hug as he nearly began to spin around. “God I’ve missed you.” He mumbled under his breath, setting the other down, keeping his hands around his waist.

“Kou,” Akaashi murmured, his hands shifted to cup his cheeks. He tugged the other’s face over to him, pulling him downward to press a long kiss to his lips. His cheeks burned a bright red, his heart racing faster than it ever had. He swore if he had a heart attack right now..

“Ah.. Coach!” Oikawa yelped, falling to the ground to distract him. “My knee!” 

Coach thankfully was no longer paying attention to the court. 

Akaashi owed Oikawa big time.

Bokuto had never felt so warm, his lips connected to Akaashi’s. He couldn’t resist the soft texture, the sweet taste, the warmth he’d always remembered. His arms held the other fiercely in his arms, no plan on letting go any time soon.

To say that it was proper was anything but, mouths collided together time and time again without leaving time for air. Bokuto’s tongue had worked its way into Akaashi’s mouth, attempting to remember everything he’d once had, everything he’d once known. Akaashi’s hands tangled into Bokuto’s hair with the hopes of getting him closer, despite the fact that they were pressed against each other, about as close together as they could be.

“Fuck I’ve missed you so much,” Bokuto whispered, his chest rising and falling quickly as he tried to gain back all of the oxygen he’d lost. “I swear.. I thought about you every day.. I.. “

“Shut up and kiss me again.” Akaashi rolled his eyes, pulling the other back in again for yet another long string of kisses. 

The rest of the boys on the court really had no idea what to say or do. Oikawa cried wolf over his knee until the two had finally separated, for what hopefully was for good (for now), and he suddenly became better.

Coach backed up away from Oikawa, muttering something about how he was going to kick that kid if he was legally able to. “Sorry about that boys.. Let’s just.. Leave it for today. Thank you for coming, I’ll be sure to email you with the results from tryouts.”

Oikawa sent a death wish glare towards Akaashi as he walked off the court, the boy only able to respond with a sheepish smile and a wipe at his mouth to get all of the saliva off of his face. 

“Thanks Oikawa,” Akaashi chuckled ever so slightly, rubbing at his cheeks as if that was going to erase the bright shade of pink that colored it.

“I’m going to kill you, after you have Bokuto as your boyfriend so he can protect you.”

“Shut--” His words were cut short with the quiet interruption of Bokuto.

“Can we talk?”

He nodded, giving another slightly nod to Oikawa before walking away. He followed the other into the locker room, shutting the door behind him.

“Here? Really?”

“I knew people were going to be outside for awhile.. And I kind of wanted to talk now.” He laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck as he walked into the room further. Lockers covered the left most side of the gym while showers covered the right. In the corner were the bathrooms leaving a large open space in the middle for them to talk, besides the benches. 

Akaashi went and sat down at one of said benches, Bokuto taking the bench across from him. They sat facing each other, their knees almost touching. “I get it.”

Bokuto exhaled slowly, shaking his head as he ran a hand through his hair. His elbows rested on his knees, his hands locked together, his chin resting on his hands. “I don’t know where to start.”

“What are you doing here?” The younger asked, looking at him gently.

“I.. My uni really didn’t work with me. It just wasn’t a good place for me. I felt alone and I had a hard time making friends, the volleyball team couldn’t work with me.. It was just right for me to transfer. I know people here, clearly,” he waved to Akaashi, “and uh.. Yeah.. That’s why I’m here. I’m a transfer student.”

“Oh,” the word left his mouth quietly. He licked his lips, trying to think of something to say.

The two of them sat in silence for what seemed like forever. 

“I’m sorry I kissed you,”

“I’m sorry I broke up with you,”

“What?”

“What?”

The two of them shared a moment of laughter, both shaking their heads as another pop of color made its appearance on their faces. Akaashi bit his lip, shaking his head again as if he was at a loss for thoughts.

“I broke up with you because I was scared for the future. I thought you were going to meet so many new people and forget about me. I was so afraid that you’d do something stupid and cheat on me.. I.. I knew the distance was going to be hard and I didn’t know if I could go that long without seeing you, without touching you. I thought that it would be easier to push you away rather than to try, because I knew that there would be an end. I didn’t want us to just fade away.. I thought..” His lip quivered, tears beginning to well in his eyes. He closed his eyes.

“No.. No Akaashi..” Bokuto leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the other quickly. He pressed a long string of kisses to his forehead, trying to soothe him while hushing him and the same time. “I get it. It took me a really long time to try to understand your perspective, but I understand.” 

“I never stopped loving you-” he managed to spill out, his hands clenching Bokuto’s shirt as his forehead moved to rest on his shoulder. “No matter how hard I tried I saw you everywhere. I saw the color yellow everywhere, I heard our song.. You were everywhere and I couldn’t get you to leave.” He sniffled, tears soaking into the elder’s shirt.

“Y-You know.. I found one of the letters you wrote to me. God I was a wreck. I considered calling you and it took all of my willpower to stop myself. I just cried and cried because I missed you so much I-”

“Keiji.. Shh, it’s okay.” Bokuto moved to sit on Akaashi’s bench, straddling it to allow the other to sit closer to him. Akaashi’s side rested against Bokuto’s front, the side of his head resting on his shoulder. Akaashi’s eyes had yet to open, but Bokuto didn’t mind. The male quietly combed his hand through his hair before rubbing a spot on his shoulder.

“You said you loved me for the first time and it just hit me how much I loved you and cared for you. I realized how _wrong_ I was for the way I spoke to you, the way I left you in the dark.” 

Bokuto sat in silence, his gaze looking down at the bench in attempts to gain any thoughts. All this time he’d been under the assumption that Akaashi hated him and wanted absolutely nothing to do with him when in reality he’d pushed him away in attempts to protect himself. 

“I’m sure you want nothing to do with me, which I get, I mean I caused us all this pain for so long.” He wiped his eyes, swallowing harshly as he lifting his head from Bokuto’s shoulder. “I should just go.” He said quickly as he started to stand.

“Are you kidding me?” Bokuto grabbed onto Akaashi’s wrist, standing up as the other did. “You think that I just want you to run and leave me again? Keiji.” He shook his head, opening his mouth as if he had something else to say. He paused, inhaling slowly. “I love you. I _love_ you Keiji. Nothing in this world is going to change that. No matter how many times you run from me I’m going to keep chasing you. I’m never going to give up on you, give up on us. Keiji, please get that through your head.”

_“...Koutarou, please just get that through your head..”_

“You don’t mean that--” He sniffled, a shaky breath filling his lungs.

_“You don’t mean that--”_

“I do! I do, Keiji. I mean that with all of my heart. I want to be with you, I want you to be with me. I want us to make new memories, I want you. I only want you.” He insisted, pulling the other closer to him, his arms slowly wrapping around his waist. “Please, Keiji.”

_“I do! I do!”_

Bokuto carefully leaned over, pressing soft kisses to Akaashi’s cheek, his temple, his forehead. He moved slowly, deliberately so he wouldn’t startle the other. His kisses trailed back down to his lips, gently connecting them in strands of careful pecks. Slowly but surely, Akaashi began to kiss the other back, his hands gripping onto Bokuto’s shirt around his collarbone to draw him in closer. 

Akaashi didn’t remember how it all happened, but he did recall being pressed against a locker, his back becoming accustomed to the rough feeling of metal. Bokuto’s kisses had gone from soft to feverish, gaining back what he had craved for so long. Akaashi returned them intensifying them each time they came back after a gasp for air. His hands had crept underneath his shirt, feeling the soft skin he’d always longed to touch. 

The elder quickly rid his shirt as Akaashi’s hands moved upward, his hands working their way up the back of the other’s shirt. They always seemed to come back to the small of his back to hold the other boy steady. 

“Kou..” Akaashi murmured under his breath as Bokuto started kissing down his neck, his hand moving around to rub his side. Koutarou’s eyes raised to check on the other, make sure that he was okay. 

“Come back to my apartment with me,” he whispered against the pale skin of Akaashi’s neck, pressing a few more slow kisses to the spots he knew Keiji liked the most. 

Akaashi smiled shamelessly as his nails raked through Bokuto’s hair. “Mm but that would be handing at least five thousand yen right into Oikawa’s greedy little hands.” He laughed, Bokuto doing the same. 

He chuckled against his skin, smiling as he pressed another kiss. “So what are you expecting me to do? Just let go of you and call it a day? You know that I’m in no way capable of doing that.”

“Come back with me, prove them wrong. Spend the night.. There’s an open bedroom.” He leaned his head back against the lockers, trying not to giggle at the tickling sensation of Bokuto’s breath across his neck.

“I don’t think I’ll be making use of that, either.” He squeezed Akaashi’s side, causing the boy to yelp. He quickly went and kissed the other’s nose with the hopes of gaining forgiveness for the evil act he’d just done. “I’m not sure if I can be separated from you, ever.”

“You’re lucky my room has a queen bed instead of a twin.”

“If it had a twin that means we’d be spooning the whole time or you’d be on top of me the whole time.” He winked, causing the other to roll his eyes. “Both of those options are fine with me.. Hell I’m even willing to be on top.”

“Kou,” Akaashi groaned, leaning over to press their lips together. He didn’t feel like words were necessary anymore, not anymore.. Their bodies fell into the same rhythm, the one that they’d always had. It was as if they’d been dating yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. 

Together, they attempted to reput themselves together. Bokuto’s shirt was returned to his body and Akaashi’s neck was well, unmarked, thankfully. He wouldn’t be able to deal with Oikawa’s incessant comments or Iwaizumi’s silent laughter. 

Bokuto hesitantly reach out and took the other’s hand, lifting it to press kiss to his palm. “I don’t think you really know how much I missed you,” he shifted to intertwine their fingers, giving his hand a light squeeze.

“There’s no need to miss me anymore, Kou, I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere for a long time, I promise.”

The drive back to the apartment was pretty quiet, “Yellow” by Coldplay playing on the radio, both of them humming softly to the tune. The last time Akaashi had listened to this song, they had been in his room doing homework. Akaashi was hunched over at his desk way too focused on something not that important. Bokuto, who was supposed to have been doing work, had taken him away from his work and forced him to slow dance in the middle of his room. 

It was the first time Bokuto had told him with his voice that he loved him, meanwhile Akaashi replied that the stars weren’t even out yet, so his logic was flawed which meant he definitely did not love him.  
Bokuto, always up for the challenge decided to prove him wrong. That night, he pulled Akaashi up onto his own roof and forced him to stare at the sunset. He forced him to watch as the yellow orange hue of the sun slowly melt across the horizon to leave a myriad of stars coating the sky. They were all bright yellow, according to Bokuto. 

Akaashi believed him and his previous statement. 

_“I love you too, dork.”_

“Hey, Kou?” Akaashi broke the silence, his gaze forward on the road ahead of them. 

“Yeah, Keiji?” Bokuto asked, turning left at the traffic light. He figured that following directions on his phone would be a lot more useful than forcing Akaashi to explain and then get frustrated when Bokuto became hesitant. “What’s up?”

The corners of his lips turned upward, bashfully looking down towards his lap, “Nothing.. I.. I just love you, a lot.”

Bokuto’s jaw fell open, pulling the car off the side of the road to pull the other over closer to him. He pressed a long, slobbery kiss over his cheek. “I love you too, but really, while I’m driving? You’re lucky I didn’t have a heart attack at the wheel.”

“Mh, no, you pulling over in a manic fashion is a lot better situation.” He laughed softly, wiping off his cheek with the sleeve of his jacket. “We need to get back, I can’t have Oikawa thinking we had a quicky.”

“Oh, how awful would that be?!” He gasped dramatically. “Sex? The two of us? An awful idea.”

“S-Shut up and drive.” 

 

\---

 

“Oh? Are the lovebirds back?” Oikawa singsonged as the door to the apartment opened. He was greeted with an eye roll and a wave, plus an additional slap on the back of the neck from Iwaizumi.

“We were just about to eat dinner, care to join us?” Iwaizumi asked, as he stepped out from behind Oikawa. He wore an apron around his waist, probably one that Oikawa got him two or three years ago. Was that pink?

“I like your skirt, Iwaizumi, I didn't know pink was your color,” Bokuto chimed as if on cue. “Food does sound amazing, thank you.”

“It's salmon.” Oikawa cut in.

Oh. It was salmon.

“That's a food?” The fluffy haired male responded as he slipped off his shoes, scratching at the back of his neck as he waited for Akaashi to lead the way.

“It's also a color, like orange? It's a food and a color?”

“I feel like it's too good as a food to have a dual purpose..”

“Hey, Bo, can you come to my room with me for a second? I need to show you something.” Akaashi chimed in, gently wrapping his hand around Bokuto’s wrist. He tugged the other down his hallway, walking into his room.

The two entered, Bokuto promptly making himself situated on the newly found queen mattress. “This is so much bigger than the bed you have at home.” Akaashi could have sworn he saw him wink.

“Yes, it's a lot bigger. Also, don't provoke Oikawa, he saved our asses today.”

“I'd personally love to make our relationship public to the whole entire world. I want the whole world to know that I'm in love with Akaashi Ke--” Akaashi covered his mouth with his hand before he could spill out the rest of his name. 

“I'd like that too, later, but for right now I'm pretty sure the coach doesn't want his players dating seeing that Iwaizumi and Oikawa barely touched at tryouts. Let's just keep it on the down low for a little, okay?” He tried to smile sweetly at the other, taking his hand off of his mouth.

“--iji. And fine. I suppose me proclaiming my love and appreciation for you will have to wait, but when I have the opportunity, I'm going to take it. Mark my words.”

“I'll mark them for sure.” He replied, exhaling slowly as his heart rate went back to a normal speed. He forgot how Bokuto made his heart race, probably due to the high amounts of stress he made him feel. 

“So, what did you need to show me?” He asked as he sat up, watching the younger’s back. He swore that he could see the outline of his spine through his shirt.

Akaashi slipped his shirt from over his head on one fluent motion, grabbing another one. “I really just needed to change and thought you shouldn't be left alone out there. They'd start interrogating you as if you were a criminal,” he hummed softly, turning around to face the other.

By that time, Bokuto had stood up to take a look around (when in reality his eyes had never left the porcelain skin of his boyfriend. Boyfriend?). He walked over to Akaashi, his eyes linking with the other's. “I think it's beautiful.”

“You haven't even taken a look around,” he scoffed lightly, setting his free hand on Bokuto's chest.

He rolled his eyes and nodded, taking a quick glance around the room before setting his eyes back on Akaashi. “I think you're beautiful so your room is probably gonna be like that too.” His hand cupped the boy's cheek, his thumb gently stroking over the skin. 

“You're so cheesy it's disgusting,” Akaashi chuckled, kissing his nose. “Now we gotta go back out there or they're really going to think we've been-”

“Let them think whatever they want. You can feel the sexual tension in the room around them, I'm sure they're dying to fuck.” He grinned, his other hand combing through Akaashi's hair before letting it fall down his arm to meet his hand. He took his hand, squeezing it. 

The black haired male huffed, squeezing the other's hand back. “Just because you're right doesn't mean you should be right.”

“They're probably making out right now, we should probably do the same and prove that we're better at it.”

“Kou,” he laughed, shaking his head as his cheeks flushed pink. He was ridiculous, insane, completely insane. “As much as I would love to do that, I'm kind of hungry.”

“Akaashi we’re supposed to be having countless hours of make up sex and you're focused on food?” Bokuto seemed exasperated. 

“I'm kind of just in a cuddle mood, though, I don't want to rush anything to try to make up for lost time. But really, I need food and I need a shower.” 

“Can I join you in the shower?”

“You can stand outside of it and talk to me.”

“You're such a tease,” he complained, stepping back from the other so he could put his shirt on. “What if I needed to shower, we'd be saving so much water!”

Akaashi slipped his shirt on and gave the other a playful shove. “Oh shut up,” he started walking out from his room and down the hallway towards the kitchen, leaving Bokuto in his room. Bokuto quickly ran off to follow the other.

Dinner was filled with plenty of conversation. They went everywhere from zodiac signs to volleyball to the best way to save the planet. Oikawa nearly started a food fight after Akaashi had made a remark about his hair, Iwaizumi found himself retreating to his bedroom earlier than expected.

“You made him run away!” Oikawa gasped, a playful glare shooting its way over to hit Akaashi.

“You’re the one who started throwing things,” he replied, picking pieces of pepper out of his hand. “Your voice gives him a migraine.” 

“Akaashi you’re so cruel to me.” He mumbled, pouting as he went to clean off his and Iwaizumi’s plates. 

“Please remind me. It’s also your night to do the dishes.” He grinned to himself. “Are you done?”

Bokuto nodded, giving Akaashi the ability to take both of their plates over to the sink. He hummed peacefully as he set them right in front of Oikawa. 

“I saved your ass today, you should do the dishes.”

“I save your ass every other day, Oikawa. Plus, I buy coffee with money out of my own pocket, your fancy coffee.”

“Fine.” He huffed, sliding the new dishes over towards him. “Have fun canoodling.”

Akaashi nearly stopped in his tracks. He took Bokuto’s hand, tugging him towards his room. “I will, as long as you promise never to say the word ‘canoodling’ again.” 

He swore that Oikawa retorted something back, but he didn’t pay that much mind to him. Oikawa was all talk and no walk, he didn’t expect anything to come from it. Akaashi went and sat down on his bed, Bokuto sitting beside him. 

“So..”

“So..” Bokuto swallowed, looking down at his feet as his hands folded awkwardly together. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. Was he supposed to kiss him again? Or were they done with that?

“If it’s okay with you,” he started, pulling his legs up onto his bed. He shifted so that he was facing the elder, his silhouette shadowed by the falling sun coming from the window. “I’d like to try being in a relationship again.” The younger exhaled slowly, pursing his lips. “I understand if this is a bit forward after all the months of really poor miscommunication, but, I never got over you. I couldn’t get you out of my head no matter how hard I tried. You mean the world to me and pushing you away was the biggest mistake.” 

Bokuto took a minute to take in everything that had been said, he knew that Akaashi had done what he did as a way to protect himself. He knew that yes, he could have gone about it better, but, he didn’t break up with him with malicious intent. He knew he meant well, and he knew at the moment he meant well. “I’d like that, a lot.” He smiled ever so slightly, leaning over to take his hand. His lips pressed against his hand before pulling him into a hug.

Akaashi felt all of the air he’d held in release as the male pulled him into a hug. Bokuto’s body was so warm and inviting. “I’ll never understand how big your heart is,” he mumbled quietly as his head pressed against the boy’s chest, “I’ll never understand how you can be so forgiving.” 

“Well,” he shrugged, pressing a long kiss to the top of his head. “I don’t know either. I guess you just make me a better person.”

\---

 

Akaashi woke up to a ray of sun striking his eyes, a low groan emitting from his throat as he ducked under the covers to avoid it. He rolled over underneath the covers, only to be stopped by a giant mass of man more formally known as Bokuto Koutarou who was still fast asleep. The younger’s face broke into a smile, his hand cupping his cheek. His skin was slightly scraggly, yet soft. Akaashi was envious, how the hell was his boyfriend so beautiful?

After about twenty minutes, the older began to stir. He squeezed his eyes closed, a low hum coming from him as he began to come to his senses. “What time is it?” He mumbled under his breath, his arms wrapping around Akaashi as if he was a pillow, holding him close and tight to his body.

“Probably seven something,” he replied, his head fitting into the space under Bokuto’s chin. His arm wrapped around his middle, his eyes coming to a close. “I have nothing to do today,” he said calmly. 

Bokuto’s hand began to comb its way through Akaashi’s hair. “Mh?” His eyes opened at that. “Hey.. Could I show you something, then?” 

That statement peaked the boy’s interest. He leaned his head backwards, looking up at the other male. “Show me what?”

“It’s gotta be a surprise, dummy.” He chuckled softly, kissing his forehead. “I’ll take that as a yes though?”

“As long as you’re not showing me my death, it’s a yes.” His lips curled into a smile, “But, for right now.. Can we just lay here?” 

“Wouldn’t want to spend my morning any other way,” he smiled back at the other, pressing yet another kiss to his forehead, “but once it hits afternoon we’re on a journey.”

“A journey, alright, Kou.” 

 

\---

 

“So, where exactly are we going again?” The younger questioned as he sat in the passenger side of Bokuto’s car. He’d showered and changed, wearing a pair of dark black jeans, a white button up short sleeve shirt and a grey oversized cardigan. Despite the fact that summer had just ended, fall had swooped in leaving summer in the dust. He held onto the end of the cardigan sleeves in anticipation.

“Does it really matter?” He asked enthusiastically. He’d only told Akaashi that they needed to stop by his apartment so he could shower and change, but the rest of it was a mystery to him. That was all part of the plan, leave the all knowing Akaashi Keiji in the dark. 

“I mean, yeah, kind of.” He shrugged, looking out the window as Bokuto pulled into his apartment complex. His body fell forward with the abrupt halt of the car as it was put into park. “What if you drive us off a cliff or something?” 

Bokuto paused, turning his head to face the other. “Wouldn’t you rather not know if I was going to do that?” 

“... Probably.”

The two made their way up to the tiny apartment. Akaashi swore that he took one step to the left and he was at one wall, then he took two steps to the right and he was at the other wall. In reality, it wasn’t that bad,but it wasn’t nearly as large as the one he had. 

Akaashi sat on the couch as the other showered, scrolling through television shows that were less than entertaining. Bokuto showered quickly, changing into a a pair of black jeans, a graphic t-shirt, a white hoodie and a jean jacket. How Bokuto managed to keep the white hoodie white and stainless was beyond his knowledge. 

The boy shook out his hair, spiking it upward loosely as he came into the other’s view. “You ready to go?”

He nodded, standing up. And then, they went.

Akaashi was still uncertain of their destination as they had pulled up. They’d been on the road for at least an hour, Akaashi had determined. They weren’t on the edge of a cliff, at least, so he felt that he was safe from imminent death. “So.. where are we?”

“Still a surprise,” Bokuto grinned as he unbuckled his seatbelt. He jumped out of the car, running around to the otherside to open Akaashi’s door before he could. 

The younger rolled his eyes internally and stepped out from the car. He was allowed to close the car door, though, which he did. He took a quick glance around. They were in a gravel lot, no other cars in sight. As he looked around he saw hills of green, trees and bushes. “I feel like you’ve driven us to the middle of nowhere.”

“Mm, that’s valid, but incorrect.” He calmly took Akaashi’s hand in his and started the long and painful trek up the hill. 

Frankly, the walk wasn’t that bad. They made quiet conversation, mostly Akaashi questioning Bokuto’s intentions and Bokuto reassuring him that he wasn’t going to push him off of a cliff, and that there weren’t even any cliffs around here. If he pushed him down the hill, he’d just safely roll to the bottom. The explanation didn’t make Akaashi feel any better. 

As they reached the top, Bokuto quickly hopped ahead of the other, standing against the sun as he outstretched his arms. “So, what do you think?” 

From the top of the hill he was able to see Tokyo on the distance with its colorful lights, even in the mid afternoon. The sun hit the leaves on the trees above him, causing the ground to shine with almost an olive hue. The sky was clear, no clouds in sight. A soft breeze past by the two of them, causing his hair to brush from his face, causing himself to curl into his cardigan a bit more.

“Koutarou, what is this?”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He asked quietly as he turned around, his back facing the other. “It’s just so calm up here. There’s no crazy levels of noise, no cars honking, no radios blasting. It’s just calm.”

“Kou,” Akaashi took a few steps forward to stand beside the other, “how did you learn about this place?”

“My mom used to take me up here when I was stressed or when I had bad outbursts and school. We’d sit up here for hours and talk, or sometimes we’d bring coloring books and just color in silence. It really helped a lot,” he smiled peacefully, wrapping his arm around Akaashi’s shoulder. He kissed the side of his head. “I thought you’d like the view.”

“I love it.. It’s stunning.” He was at a loss for words, resting his head against the other’s shoulder as they stood there. “I’m sure it’s gorgeous when the sun goes down and Tokyo lights up.”

“Yeah, it is.” He nodded, licking his lips as he got lost in his thoughts. He hesitated before removing his arm from the other. “This wasn’t the only reason I wanted to bring you here.” His left foot began to kick at his right awkwardly, his hands reaching into his hoodie pocket. “I wanted to give you something.. Somethings? Multiple things..” He laughed nervously.

Akaashi raised an eyebrow as he turned to face the other, trying to get a good read on him. In a year, Bokuto had managed to mask a lot of his expressions, he’d managed to calm down quite a bit on the exterior. Akaashi wasn’t sure whether he should be happy or disappointed that he didn’t have the ability to know exactly what he was thinking. 

Bokuto pulled out what seemed to be a large stack of crumpled bits of paper, handing them over to the other. Akaashi took them hesitantly, beginning to glance at them.

“They’re more letters that I wrote to you, some when we were still together, most of them from when we weren’t.. I got so frustrated at myself that I crumbled them up and threw them away but I’d always come back and keep them. I’m not sure why..” His lips seemed to pull into a smile, “Some of them are apologies, some of them are happy ones.. Everything is in there.”

“Kou,” Akaashi’s nimble fingers calmly traced over a couple of the letters, taking note that all of them were had written, all of them beginning with Keiji. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do. “I.. This..” 

“You don’t have to say anything, I just want you to know that I never stopped thinking about you,” he looked down at the ground, his smile turning sheepish. “I meant what I said, I’ve never stopped loving you.”

Akaashi looked up at Bokuto, his hand holding the letters tightly to his chest. “I appreciate this, a lot, Kou,” He motioned his hand outward towards the view. “All of it, I appreciate it. I appreciate you so much.” He set the betters in the pocket of his cardigan, wrapping his arms around Bokuto’s neck.

Without hesitation, he leaned upward and pressed a kiss to the other’s lips. The warm sun radiating down on the two of them as they kissed. Bokuto’s hands held his waist, holding him steady as the other went onto his toes to match his height. Akaashi’s hand slipped into the back of Bokuto’s hair, feeling the smooth strands that somehow decided to defy gravity. Bokuto’s hands moved to fit at the small of Akaashi’s back, the boy’s back arching in response.

The wind brushed against the two of them, pushing the strands of their hair and the fabric of their clothes with its power. With a mind of its own, it seemed to slip the letters from Akaashi’s pocket, the tens of letters flying out into the open air, the wind carrying them down the opposite side of the hill.

“Kou--”Akaashi’s eyes widened as he saw the letters slowly flutter downward, away from him and the pocket he so truly trusted. “I’m so sorry--” he blinked, biting his lip as only a few of them remained close to his feet.

Bokuto picked up the two closest to the two of them, shoving them back into his jacket pocket. “That’s okay,” he laughed quietly, shaking his head as he wrapped his arm around Akaashi’s shoulder once more. “You didn’t really need to read them.. They were pretty embarrassing. After all, they aren’t important anymore.”

“What?” He squinted at the other, who was far too interested in watching all of the letters make their decent down the hill. “I beg your pardon?”

“They aren’t that important, anymore, Keiji,” he restated, sighing contently. “I don’t need to give you all of these letters from the past saying that I love you or that I thought about you when I can tell you right now, in the present that I love you, and that you’re always on my mind.”

“But..”

“No buts, Keiji, unless it’s yours and I get to touch it,” he laughed calmly, giving the boy a squeeze. “Seriously, I think it’s more symbolic that they all flew off the edge of the cliff.”

“You’re not my boyfriend,” Akaashi looked at Bokuto as if he was crazy. “Symbolism? You’re claiming this is symbolism?”  
“You know, I also think that you blubbering is another symbol, it means that I need to kiss you so you stop overthinking.”

For once in his lifetime, Akaashi didn’t protest against Bokuto’s logic.

And for once in his lifetime, Bokuto had outsmarted Akaashi Keiji.

They were both enjoying their new firsts, together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it.
> 
> Make sure to leave Kudos and Comment, I'd love to see your thoughts.
> 
> xx


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